Advert: Roommate Wanted

Three Gentlemen searching for fourth roommate, whom to cohabitate in modest 5-story Victorian mansion on hill (possibly haunted), ominously overlooking town.

Rent is either 4 shillings a week or can be worked out in organ trade.

We have all modern conveniences - wireless telegraph, refridgeration, scream mufflers, and complimenting Jacob’s Ladders, built-in space saving Murphy Orphans.

NO ROBOT PETS! MANIMALS NEED NOT APPLY!

Opium smokers welcome, no tobacco on premises. Must be employed, responsible, and bat-shit insane.

We like: klezmer music, the complete works of Sousa, Tuven throat singing, and Richard Hell & the Voidoids.

We hate: Tuven throat singing, barbershop quartets, quintets & sextuplets, and hateful free-form jazz.

No deposit required, unless bringing personal Death-Ray.

Please contact Professor Eugene Fluffypuff at Klondike-67-5309

[January 30, 2007]