In the Kitchen with Emmett: Irish Beef Stew


  • 2 pounds beef stew meat
  • Salt (to taste)
  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • 6 large garlic cloves, minced
  • 4 cups vegetable broth
  • 1 bottle of Guinness stout
  • 1 cup of hearty red wine
  • 1 can tomato paste
  • 1 tablespoon dried thyme
  • 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 1/4 cup flour
  • 3 pounds red potatoes, cut into 1/2-inch pieces (about 7 cups)
  • 1 large yellow onion, chopped (1 1/2 to 2 cups)
  • 2 cups parsnips (3 to 4 parsnips)
  • 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley


Brown the beef: Coat the beef pieces with flour and a teaspoon of salt. Heat the olive oil in a large (6 to 8 quart), thick-bottomed pot over medium-high heat.

Add the beef, without stirring, until well browned on one side, then use tongs to turn the pieces over and brown on another side.

Add garlic and sauté, then add stock, water, Guinness, wine, tomato paste, sugar, thyme Worcestershire, bay leaves, simmer: Add garlic to the pot with the beef and sauté 30 seconds or until fragrant. Add the beef stock, Guinness, red cooking wine, tomato paste, thyme, Worcestershire sauce, and bay leaves. Stir to combine.

Bring mixture to a simmer. Reduce heat to the lowest setting, then cover and cook at a bare simmer for 1 hour, stirring occasionally. While the pot of meat and stock is simmering, add the onions, parsnips, and the potatoes to the beef stew. Add black pepper and salt, to taste. Simmer uncovered until vegetables and beef are very tender, about 40 minutes. 

Transfer stew to serving bowls. Add more salt and pepper to taste. Sprinkle with parsley and serve.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: Crockpot Beef Stew

To make about 8 servings


  • 1 Onion, diced
  • 2 pounds stew meat, cut into 1 inch cubes
  • 2 tablespoons Olive Oil
  • 6 Red Potatoes, quartered
  • 2 3/4 cups Vegetable Broth
  • 1 small can of Tomatoes, diced
  • 4 Carrots, sliced
  • 3 cloves Garlic, minced
  • 1 tablespoon Worcestershire Sauce
  • 1 teaspoon dried Thyme
  • 1 teaspoon dried Rosemary Garlic
  • 1 teaspoon Paprika
  • 1 bay leaf
  • 1/4 cup all purpose flour
  • 2 tablespoons dried Parsley
  • Kosher Salt and Pepper, to taste


  • Place beef, garlic, olive oil, flour, salt, pepper, and worcestershire sauce in crockpot.
  • After the beef is well-coated, stir in broth, potatoes, onions, carrots, tomatoes, Worcestershire sauce, Thyme, Rosemary, Paprika, & bay leaf until well combined.
  • Cover and cook on low heat for 7-8 hours or high heat for 3-4 hours. Add parsley.
  •  Serve Immediately.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: French Onion Soup with variation

This soup can easily be made vegetarian, by substituting Vegetable broth for the Beef & Chicken broth.

To make about 6 servings


  • 3 cups Onions, sliced
  • 8 oz Mushrooms, sliced
  • 3 teaspoons Olive Oil
  • 2 tablespoons Dill
  • 3 cups Chicken Broth
  • 3 cups Beef Broth
  • 1/2 cup Red Wine
  • 1 clove minced Garlic
  • Salt and Pepper, to taste

French Bread, small slices and toasted
Gruyere or Swiss Cheese, shredded


• Saute Onions and Mushrooms with the Olive Oil, Garlic, and Dill
• Add wine and broth. Bring to a boil and simmer for half an hour or until onions and mushrooms are tender. Season to taste.
• Serve in one large or individual bowls.
• Top with toasted bread, sprinkle with cheese.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: Jerk Potatoes


  • 5 cloves Garlic, finely chopped
  • 6 to 7 Potatoes, diced
  • 1/2 Red Onion, chopped
  • 1 Yellow Onion, chopped
  • 1 cup Sweet Bell Peppers, finely chopped
  • 1 Serrano Pepper, finely chopped (remove seeds if you’d like to lower the heat)
  • 3 tablespoons Olive Oil
  • 1 teaspoon dried Thyme
  • 1/2 teaspoon Allspice
  • 1/8 teaspoon Nutmeg
  • 1/8 teaspoon Cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon Cayenne Pepper
  • 1 Tablespoon Sriracha
  • 1 teaspoon Salt
  • 1 teaspoon Black Pepper


  • Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
  • Combine all ingredients in a large bowl and toss well to coat. Spread evenly on a lightly greased half sheet pan.
  • Roast for 40-50 minutes, turning the potatoes once 20 minutes in, until the potatoes are browned and crisp.

For extra crispy potatoes, broil for a couple minutes at the end of the baking time, keeping a watchful eye on the oven to prevent burning. 

In the Kitchen with Emmett: Sausage Casserole


  • 1 pound fresh, ground pork sausage
  • 1 onion, thinly sliced
  • 1 1/2 cups Cheddar cheese, shredded
  • 4 slices bread
  • 6 eggs
  • 2 cups milk


  • Preheat oven to 375ºF.
  • In a skillet, brown the sausage, drain and place in a square casserole dish. Cover top of sausage with onion slices. Cover top of onion with cheese. Place 4 slices of bread on top of the cheese. Bread should fit exactly to cover top of the dish.
  • Mix eggs and milk in a bowl and slowly pour over top of bread, mixture should fill dish almost to the top. Bake in a preheated oven for 45 minutes.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: German Potato Salad


  • 3 cups potatoes, diced
  • 4 slices bacon
  • 1 small onion, diced
  • 1/4 cup white vinegar
  • 2 tablespoons water
  • 3 tablespoons white sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley


  • Place the potatoes into a pot, and fill with enough water to cover. Bring to a boil, and cook for about 10 minutes, or until easily pierced with a fork. Drain, and set aside to cool.
  • Fry the bacon in a large deep skillet over medium-high heat until browned and crisp, turning as needed. Remove from the pan and set aside.
  • Add onion to the bacon grease, and cook over medium heat until browned. Add the vinegar, water, sugar, salt and pepper to the pan. Bring to a boil, then add the potatoes and parsley. Crumble in half of the bacon.
  • Heat through, then transfer to a serving dish. Crumble the remaining bacon over the top, and serve warm.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: Swedish Pancake


To make this safe for Mister Ducky (severe dairy allergy), I like to substitute coconut creamer for the milk.


  • 6 slices salt pork or 6 slices bacon
  • 4 eggs, separated
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • 4 tablespoons flour
  • 1 pinch pepper
  • 1 quart milk


  • Preheat oven to 425°F.
  • Fry pork or bacon; pour off most of the fat and arrange slices over the bottom of the frying pan.
  • Beat egg yolk and sugar until light.
  • Combine flour and pepper; add alternately with milk to the egg yolks, beating to make a smooth batter.
  • Fold in stiffly-beaten egg whites.
  • Pour batter over fried pork or bacon and bake for ten minutes; reduce temperature to 350ºF and bake until mixture is set in center, about 10 to 20 minutes.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: Eggs Strata


  • 10 slices stale Bread
  • 3 tablespoons Olive Oil
  • 6 cups Monterey Jack & Cheddar Cheese, shredded
  • 8 eggs, beaten
  • 3 to 4 cups Cream
  • 1 teaspoon Brown Sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon Paprika
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons Salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon Black Pepper, ground
  • 1/8 teaspoon Cayenne Pepper
  • 1/2 teaspoon Onion Powder
  • 1 teaspoon Mustard Powder
  • 1 teaspoon Worcestershire Sauce
  • 1 tablespoon Fresh Parsley, chopped (for garnish)


  • Preheat the oven to 325ºF. 
  • Spread olive oil onto one side of each slice of bread. Cut into quarters. Lay half of the bread, oil side down, in the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish. Top with half of the Cheddar cheese and half of the Monterey Jack. Layer the remaining bread over the cheese, and top with the other halves of the cheeses.
  • In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs and cream. Stir in the brown sugar, salt, pepper, cayenne, onion powder, mustard powder, and Worcestershire sauce. Pour over the cheese and bread. Cover, and refrigerate at least 6 hours, preferably overnight.
  • Bake the strata uncovered for 1 hour in the preheated oven. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving. Slice and garnish with fresh parsley.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: Corned Beef & Cabbage (Crockpot)

This is a variation on the classic recipe.


  • 4 cups water
  • 2 tablespoons cider vinegar
  • 2 tablespoons sugar
  • 1⁄2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
  • 1 large onion, cut into quarters
  • 3 lbs corned beef brisket (with spices)
  • 8 small white or yellow potatoes, scrubbed and cut into quarters
  • 1 head cabbage, cored and cut into 10 wedges 
  • 4 -5 carrots, cut into 1 inch pieces


  • Combine the water, vinegar, sugar, pepper and onions, in a crockpot and mix well.
  • Place corned beef and contents of spice packet in the mixture.
  • Scatter the potatoes, cabbage and carrots over the top and along the sides.
  • Cover and cook on high heat setting 4 hours or until beef is tender.
  • To serve, carve the beef into slices against the grain and serve with the cabbage and potatoes, with some of the cooking liquid spooned on top of the beef to keep it moist.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: Gorgonzola Sausage Pasta


  • 1 lb of pasta (I like Farfalle or Penne but let’s be serious, any will do)
  • 1 lb of ground Italian sausage (I prefer the hot kind but mild or sweet work)
  • 2 to 4 ounces of gorgonzola cheese 
  • 1 small onion, chopped
  • salt and pepper, to taste


  • Boil a large pot of water and add 1 heaping tsp. of salt and cook the pasta.
  • In a large skillet, sauté sausage over medium heat until well done.
  • Lower the heat to low and add chopped onions and sauté until soft, about 4 mins.
  • Then turn off the heat and add the gorgonzola cheese and stir until well mixed. 
  • Add 2 tablespoons of pasta water to the skillet after the pasta has been cooked.
  • Drain the pasta and add to the skillet and stir well until the pasta is coated with sausage and cheese mixture.
  • Add salt and pepper to taste and serve hot.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: Bridies (Scottish Meat Pies)


  • 12 oz ground Lamb
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 tablespoons beef broth
  • 1/4 teaspoons salt, or to taste
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper, or to taste
  • 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 tablespoon dried Thyme
  • 1 egg white, lightly beaten
  • 2 pre-made pie crusts, cut each into four


  • Preheat the oven to 350ºF.
  • In a large heavy skillet over medium heat, cook lamb until evenly brown; drain excess fat. Remove from heat, and stir in onion, beef broth and Worcestershire sauce. Season with salt and pepper. Allow to cool before filling pastries.
  • On a lightly floured surface, roll pastry out. Cut into 4 squares. Place approximately 1/2 cup filling on one half of each. Fold the pastry over the filling, and crimp edges to seal. Brush lightly with beaten egg white, and cut three slits in the top to allow steam to escape. Place on baking sheet.
  • Bake in preheated oven for 30 to 35 minutes, or until golden brown.


In the Kitchen with Emmett: Hopi Corn Stew

Tasty stew made with hominy. The original recipe is said to be from the 1920s, which would explain the use of canned items. Spicy & hearty! Serve with warm tortillas.


  • 3 pounds ground beef
  • 2 large onions, diced
  • 2 tablespoons chili powder
  • 6 potatoes, diced
  • 1 pound carrots, diced
  • 3 cups white hominy
  • 3 (8 ounce) cans whole peeled tomatoes with liquid, chopped
  • 2 (4 ounce) cans chopped green chiles, with juice
  • 3 cups beef broth
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper


  • In a large pot over medium heat, cook ground beef until evenly brown.
  • Stir in onions, and sauté until soft and translucent.
  • Season with chili powder, and cook for about 2 minutes.
  • Add potatoes, carrots, hominy, tomatoes and chilies.
  • Pour in beef broth.
  • Season to taste with salt and pepper.
  • Reduce heat, and simmer 2 hours, or until potatoes and carrots are tender.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: Corn Chowder (Dairy Free)

A tasty chowder that I made Mister Ducky safe, by changing out dairy cream for coconut creamer. If you are vegetarian or vegan, you can substitute the bacon with soy bacon crumble or simply nix it all together.


  • 6 Potatoes, diced
  • 1 Onion, chopped
  • 6 cups of Vegetable Broth
  • 1 clove Garlic
  • 3 cups of Sweet Corn, frozen
  • 2 ½ teaspoons Olive Oil
  • 1/2 cup Coconut Creamer
  • 2 tablespoons dried Sage
  • Salt & Pepper, to taste
  • Bacon, crumbled (optional)


  • Place potatoes, onions and garlic in a large pot with broth to just cover; bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer until just tender, 15 minutes.
  • When potatoes are just tender, add the corn, coconut creamer, sage, goat butter, salt and pepper into the pot. Heat, stirring, 10 minutes, until butter has melted and mixture is thoroughly heated.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: Corned Beef & Cabbage (Crockpot)

This is very simple but super tasty.


  • 1 cup water
  • 1 large onion, chopped
  • 3 to 5 lbs corned beef brisket (with spices)
  • 1 head cabbage, chopped
  • Salt and Pepper, to taste


  • Place corned beef and contents of spice packet in the mixture.
  • Scatter the cabbage and onions over the top and along the sides.
  • Cover and cook; Low setting for 7-8 hours, high setting 3-4 hours or until beef is tender.

Poppy, the Automaton

sung to the tune of ‘Frosty the Snowman’

Come a little closer, darling dears, I've got a story to tell…
It's about an automaton you've heard of, and you know quite well.
She was born on a cold winter's morning,
and went on to gain great fame.
But may I begin my story,
and refer to her by name? (God, I wish you wouldn't)

Poppy, the automaton was a snarky, drunken soul,
With a corkscrew smile and a button nose,
And two eyes as black as coal.
Poppy, the automaton made the children run away.

They began to cry when she rolled her eyes
and came to life that day!
There must of been some magic,

In that ol' clock key they found.
For when they placed it in her back,
She bossed everyone around.

Poppy, the automaton was alive as she could be,
And the children say she could drink and play,
Just the same as you and me.

With a corkscrew smile and a button nose and two eyes as black as coal!
They began to cry when she rolled her eyes and came to life that day!

(But ladies, you didn't finish your story.)
I know, I just paused to fix my drink.
(What happened to Poppy when she came to life that day?)
Well she got in a lot of trouble, you see?

Poppy, the automaton was as awful as we feared,
She saw Emmett's gown and with a frown she said 'You girls are just too weird'.
All through the airship with a martini in her hand
Boozin' here and there and everywhere
Sayin', "Catch up if you can."

She led us down the streets of town
Right to the traffic cop
And she only paused a moment when she heard him holler, "Stop!"

Poppy, the automaton had to hurry on her way
But she waved goodbye sayin' don't you cry
I'll be back again someday!

Thumpety, thump, thump,
Thumpety, thump, thump.
Look at that Poppy go!
Thumpety, thump, thump,
Thumpety, thump, thump,
Introducing every show.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: Gingerbread

This is a good recipe for the winter holidays or simply when you're suffering from the doldrums.


  • 1 cup butter, softened
  • 2 cups brown sugar, packed
  • 3 eggs
  • 2/3 cup honey
  • 1/4 cup orange liqueur
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • 1/2 cup orange juice
  • 1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup whole wheat flour
  • 4 teaspoons baking powder
  • 2 teaspoons ginger
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1/4 teaspoon cloves
  • 1 cup raisins
  • 1 cup blanched almond slivers


• Pre-heat oven to 350ªF (175ªC)
• Whisk together flour, baking powder and spices
• In a separate large bowl, cream the butter with the brown sugar. Beat in the eggs, then honey, orange liqueur, sour cream, and orange juice.
• Beat the flour mixture into the creamed mixture, and then stir in the raisins and almonds.
• Turn batter into a greased and floured tube pan.
• Bake at 350ªF (175ªC) for 80 minutes, or until it tests done with a toothpick.
• Transfer to a rack to cool.

In the Kitchen with Emmett: Stark Raving Malbec

First off, I have to admit that I bought this wine purely for the label and the price. It was $7! I mean, even if it's crappy I can cook with it. Besides, I was once told that if you're not a wine collector paying more than $10 for a wine that you're going to drink right away is pretty dumb. Unless, you're trying to impress someone (namely, a date or in-laws) or you're studying to be a Sommelier then, by all means, be all snooty about wine.

Stark Raving Malbec is from Argentina and developed by winemaker John Kane (part of Rosenblum Cellars). These wines are made to gulped or slurped, meant to be simple to drink like grabbing a beer, which explains the screw cap. Honestly, I like the new movement in screw-on caps for wine. I think it keeps the wine fresh longer & encourages me not to drink a whole bottle in one sitting... but, that might just be me.

The label says that this Malbec tastes like berries and smoky bacon. Well I didn’t detect any bacon, but I did notice berries, cherries, and a slight hint of thyme. Overall, I'd say the Stark Raving Malbec was a strong, rich, smooth wine. Perfect for eating with a steak, pizza or if you want to be classy like me, all by its lonesome. 

A Rousing Introduction to the “Music ‘O Gears” by Laura Casteel

It’s easy to endure a four-mile traffic jam when you can plug in your iPhone, turn on your radio, and realize that at least you’re not combatting demon-possessed orphans or gin-crazed koalas. It’s also easy when you can hear anyone from The Cog is Dead to Adam Ant to Johnny Cash, and listen to your beat-up Honda sonically morph into the bridge of the airship Calpurnia. To paraphrase Poppy Meriwether: hello there, darlings, and welcome to The Clockwork Cabaret.

This weekly podcast, hosted by DJs Emmett Davenport and Lady Attercop, showcases what they call “music ‘o gears,” interspersed with comedic dialogue from the hosts and other characters; these include Poppy and Percy, a pair of sardonic automatons, along with occasional special guests. Think of it as A Prairie Home Companion with absinthe on its breath. Listeners may not always hear music typically described as steampunk, but that’s part of The Clockwork Cabaret’s appeal—each episode redefines the genre in its own unique way. Featured artists range from contemporary favorites of the steampunk community, such as Frenchy and the Punk, The Nathaniel Johnstone Band, and The Men That Will Not Be Blamed for Nothing, to icons of indie rock, swing, punk, broadway, and other genres from throughout the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. In one playlist, you might hear the Andrews Sisters followed by Tom Waits or Asylum Street Spankers, while another might feature Eartha Kitt alongside The Decemberists and Hellblinki. Some selections also highlight lesser known artists with a flair for the macabre or anachronistic, an example being Eric McFadden’s deliciously dark cover of Britney Spears’ “Womanizer.” If a song has a gothic touch, reminds you of days gone by, or is just really interesting, chances are you might here it on The Clockwork Cabaret.

The podcast’s eclectic musical palette reflects the artistry of its “Darling DJ Duo.” A savvy entrepreneur, Emmett Davenport’s DJ career spans over fifteen years, and she currently operates the Victorian-themed Café Diem coffeehouse in Pittsboro, North Carolina. Lady Attercop illustrates the witty web comic Strange Fiction, and provides much of The Clockwork Cabaret’s promotional artwork. Together, they lend their tune-spinning skills to a variety of steampunk events, including the Clockwork Ball in the Triangle area of North Carolina, and the Mechanical Masquerade at DragonCon. They also work diligently to bring alternate history to the un-steamed masses through a number of other projects, including the upcoming Youtube series Lushington’s Lounge, the only how-to show to feature puppets drinking vintage cocktails.

In addition to their other talents, our hosts display their comedic chops through their on-air Clockwork Cabaret personae. Davenport is the eldest of the Davenport sisters, traveling the world aboard the airship Calpurnia and trying to avoid trouble from the villainous organization CLANNG. Her companion, the snidely mischievous, rum-guzzling criminal Attercop, hails from a swamp-dwelling family of ruffians with more siblings than there are atoms in the universe. The characters’ continuous storyline determines the theme of each episode’s playlist. For instance, a recent episode featured songs on the subjects of crime and punishment, as well as Attercop’s anxiety over her upcoming parole hearing, brought on by Davenport’s callous consumption of Attercop’s lawyer: a sack of potatoes named Betty Sackface.

Thanks to the efforts of these self-described “professional ladies” to stay true to themselves and refuse genre restrictions, The Clockwork Cabaret celebrates what might be the greatest attribute of the steampunk subculture: its accessibility. The humor never veers into the desert of pretentiousness (where even the cacti judge you), and the diversity of the music allows a broad audience to embrace their inner anachronist. The next time you’re feeling landlocked, don’t hesitate to grab a bottle of gin and hop aboard the Calpurnia—just ignore the koalas.  

The Anti-Flirt Club

n the early-1920s in Washington, D. C., a lady named Alice Reighly founded the Anti-Flirt Club — an organisation “composed of young women and girls who have been embarrassed by men in automobiles and on street corners,” and which aimed to protect such women from future embarrassment.

The club issued the following list of rules.

(Source: Shorpy, via P. Robbins; Image: The club’s “charter members” in 1923, via Wikimedia.)

  1. Don’t flirt: those who flirt in haste oft repent in leisure.
  2. Don’t accept rides from flirting motorists—they don’t invite you in to save you a walk.
  3. Don’t use your eyes for ogling—they were made for worthier purposes.
  4. Don’t go out with men you don’t know—they may be married, and you may be in for a hair-pulling match.
  5. Don’t wink—a flutter of one eye may cause a tear in the other.
  6. Don’t smile at flirtatious strangers—save them for people you know.
  7. Don’t annex all the men you can get—by flirting with many, you may lose out on the one.
  8. Don’t fall for the slick, dandified cake eater—the unpolished gold of a real man is worth more than the gloss of a lounge lizard.
  9. Don’t let elderly men with an eye to a flirtation pat you on the shoulder and take a fatherly interest in you. Those are usually the kind who want to forget they are fathers.
  10. Don’t ignore the man you are sure of while you flirt with another. When you return to the first one you may find him gone.

"Official" Drinking Game

Alright kids! And, by kids, I mean people of legal drinking age, you whippersnappers!  You asked for it… Here is the “official”Clockwork Cabaret Drinking Game. Never been tested. So, drink at your own risk. If you make modifications, feel free to let us know. Like our programming, our drinking habits are ever evolving.